We take up the mother road...

June 28, 2006
Springfield, MO

The tiny hamlet of Springfield, MO (Hometown of one Mr. Brad Pitt, by the way :) is really trying to revive it's downtown... lots of nightclubs and bars and boutiques and galleries and such - a midwestern Hipster's best hope. The whole downtown (all 3 blocks of it) is even a wifi zone. Sweet... but slow. We're trying to post some pictures for y'all, but it's already taken 15 minutes not to load one. I don't even want to imagine how long the YouTube videoing will take. All in good time, I suppose...

We Join Route 66 in downtown Chicago

So, we left you at Sunday afternoon, just as we were about to take up Route 66. Well, the sun came out and the top came down and we cruised out of Chicago to the Southwest via a fairly well-marked route. Within a half hour or so, shabby city fringe gave way to suburban sprawl, which soon gave way to grain elevators. Lots of grain elevators. And corn. We enjoyed the ride and soon stopped to photograph the first bit of tacky Americana along 66, the Green Gemini Giant.

The GEMINI GIANT!

He Sees All...

Most of the rest of the evening was spent crusing along, keeping our eyes peeled for the "Historical Route 66" signs. The route usually parallels major U.S. Highways that were built later on in the 1950's and 1960's under Eisenhower's Federal Highways Act. So, for most of Illinois, we were driving within 50 yards of Interstate 55, a 4-6 lane motorway. The route does veer off periodically through small towns and along suburban "business districs" consisting of a mile or two of McDonald's, Super 8 Motels, and Wal-Marts. But even when driving along the highway, it's nice not to be surrounded by tractor-trailer trucks and such. Most of the time, we're among the only cars on the road - which makes it nice and easy to take pictures - just pull over and put the flashers on!

Illinois

Grain Elevator

Ride along with us for a moment...



We spun by the famous "Maple Sirup" farm along Route 66 in Funks Grove, but it was late on a Sunday evening and they were closed. But we could see the grove of Sugar maples and what appeared to be the evaporator, etc. We know our sugaring, so got the gist. Wondering about the sugaring season in these parts though - how's the weather work?

Dixie Truckers Home

We had a basic, greasy meal at the Dixie Truckers Home and browsed the lovely gift shop. Offensive bumper stickers and t-shirts thrive here.

Don't they though?

There were thunderstorms in the distance and lots of lightning, so we decided that another hotel was in order, and we pointed ourselves, ultimately, at Motel 6. Now, I really wanted to try and stay in authentic, locally-owned, traditional Route 66 style motor courts when possible. Stay away from the chain store vibe, etc. And we tried, really we did. We sought out about half a dozen Lincoln Inn's and Maple Courts and Garden Breezeway Motels, which are apparently all code for "no-tell-mo-tell". These places are sketchy - broken windows (albeit duct taped), weedy parking lots, dingy doors, and plenty of evidence of permanent residents. We just weren't down with that, so Motel 6 it was. Of course, during the day when we're driving along and not ready to stop, we see plenty of cute little places. Ain't that always the way...

At least the Motel 6 provided clean, reasonably priced accomodation, with long hot showers in the morning and the chance to catch "The View". And, yes, they did leave the light on for us. We breakfasted at the nearby Hen House family restaurant and then headed into Springfield, Illinois, home of Abraham Lincoln (not his birthplace, but where he lived for 17 years before becoming president). Our friendly guides were adamant to point out that it was a nice, upper class home - not a log cabin. He was just born in a log cabin. He didn't live in one his whole life! Still, this original log cabin was about as big as his kitchen, and with 7 people living in there at a time, it must have been mighty cozy. I guess this really is another case of the self-made American man - the American dream. He educated himself and moved from Log Cabin eventually to White House. And freed the slaves. And preserved the nation. And looked good in a beard. We like Abe!

If she were a president, she'd be Baberaham Lincoln...

On our way out of Springfield, we stopped at Cozee Dog Drive In, the home of the Corn Dog. As it turns out, neither Beth nor I have ever eaten a corn dog. Figuring this should be our time, we shared one, and while it was lovely, and particularly corny tasting, I don't know that either of us are chomping at the stick to have another.

Cozee Dog.

We then pointed the Snaab toward Missouri. Along the way, we stopped at Henry's Route 66 Emporium and Rabbit Ranch, where we met Henry, a Route 66 enthusiast, bunny lover, and insurance salesman. He and Beth talked rabbits for a while, and one of his 38 bunnies, Montana, 'autographed' a flyer for us. We took pictures of the rusted out gas pumps and motel signs in his yard and hopped back on 66.

Montana's Autograph

We were having some trouble keeping on Route 66, as the signage started to fail a bit. Eventually, we got on some bridge or another and forded the Mighty Mississippi River right on into St. Louis. We'd had a big ferret road trip here about 3 years ago, so didn't need to do the full exploration. Instead, we took our picture in front of the Arch - the Gateway to the West - and drove around in search of refinding Route 66 and the famous Ted Drew's Custard Stand. Kelly satisfied a serious Taco Bell jones and Beth enjoyed a cookie dough 'concrete' ice cream custard. We had a bit of a debate and we are curious as to where public opinion stands on this issue: which is a 'worse' dinner nutitionally speaking: two cripsy tacos and cinnamon twists - or - cookie dough concrete, which is essentially a really thick milkshake?

After a night camping at Jellystone Park, a not-as-bad-as-we-feared campground next to Six Flags, we rolled westward again. Our first stop was at the Jesse James Wax Museum.

So many things wrong with this picture... where to start?

While the muesum and accompanying (appallingly bad with uncomfortably awkward silences by the narrator - have you ever seen The Office?) video touched only lightly on the actual outlaw acts committed by Jesse James, there was a significant portion dedicated to debunking the "myth" that Jesse was killed in 1882. Rather, these conspiracy theorists firmly believe that Jesse staged his death, and lived until 1951, dying at the ripe old age of 104. There was also a good bit about Jesse's childhood mistreatment by Union Soldiers and how that 'drove him into' his life of crime. Why would Pinkerton detectives throw a bomb through his window when he was 15? There was also some bit about how his mom lost and arm and his brother died and then he started running with a bad crowd and then, poof! They skip ahead to 1950 something when some old man claims to be Jesse James. What about the bank robberies? The murders? The looting? Maybe someone who has seen "Young Guns" starring Emilio Estevez as Jesse James can fill us in on the good parts...

Well. From there, we decided to forgo the Reptile World Petting Zoo, and had lunch at Meremec Caverns, kind of the South of the Border of the Midwest. We are saving actual cavern visits for Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico. Plus, Jesse James apparently hid out here, and we'd had enough of him.

Drivin' Through the Ozarks on Ole Route 66

Ozark Daisys

The rest of the afternoon was spent trying to follow absurdly poorly labelled Route 66 through the Ozarks. We ended up on dirt roads to nowhere more than we'd like to recall. We were aiming for Springfield but couldn't resist a faded sign for "Exotic Animal Paradise", so camped out at Paradise RV park "God Runs this RV Park", and, after a set of instructions from our hostess that included "Now, if there's a tornado warning, someone will come out to your tents and fetch you", we retired. You can imagine how well Kelly slept that night.

G00dnight Missouri!